My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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