i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
