There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
