i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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