Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
