I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
