first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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