Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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