the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
