She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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