Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
