O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
