How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
