# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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