The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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