Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Come see our sink grown plant.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
