We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
So vagazzling was a success
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
