Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
