Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Randomize
