do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Damn victory sex feels great
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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