One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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