Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize