I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
