I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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