Who did Billy Mays play for?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
