I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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