I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
