I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
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