Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Girls should come with a carfax report
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Randomize
