And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
