Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
When did angry sex become our thing?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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