I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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