Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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