Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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