hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
there is puke in my bra ... again
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
