I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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