She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
