i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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