he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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