My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
3 2 1 whiskey
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
