I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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