Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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