Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
