Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
My dad just said "fuck circus"
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
