Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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