Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
