I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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