With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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