I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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