Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
you would pick up someone in the library
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
