ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
