this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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