would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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